Monday, March 28, 2005

Some Fun Things To Try If You Really Want To annoy Your Roommate!

- Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what she is talking about.
- When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."
- Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players
- Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of new lightbulbs.
- Repeat thoughtfully the last word of everything your roommate says (e.g., Your roommate: "How are you doing today?" You: "Today.... Today......")
- Continually refer to your roommate using terms of endearment (sweetcheeks, honeybuns). Slap him/her in the face if s/he ever does the same.
- Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep
- Whenever your roomate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself
- Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed. Do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out. Use this method to fall asleep every night for a month
- Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds and then hang up.
- Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language
- If you know that s/he is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.
- Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When s/he does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again.
- When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh, you're here!" Walk away yelling and cursing
- Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, "Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking you out
- Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything
- When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, "I'm watching you


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